Today, I went back to Horseback Riding

It's been almost a year since i started yakking about horses. 8 months since I had my first taste of horseback riding as an adult. 6 months since I started taking formal riding lessons, and almost 4 months since I fell and hit my head hard, causing me to take a long break from riding.

Falling off your horse is quite normal. It does happen. It happened to me a couple of times before having that really bad fall on that really bad spot at a really bad time. That day was my last day of formal training. It was sort of my graduating day so I insisted to go out to the park instead of staying at the paddocks--- which is safer for falling because the sanded ground can sort of cushion your fall.  I was so happy that day I asked my trainer to jump Buddy, my schooling horse. I don't know what happened next, just that it felt surreal and like a dream waking up lying on the grass with my trainer and the stables' owner asking me to stay on the ground. I can't remember much about falling or what happened before and after the fall, but I do remember not remembering anything, and tweeting that I feel like suffering from memory loss. I remember getting the worst headache from trying to remember where I was and what happened and the way back home. I also remember putting my head inside a hospital trash bin to vomit my head off while I was having my CT scan. I remember my mom telling me in the hospital to never to go back riding again, and I fondly remember the doctor telling me that I can go back after 4-5 months.

After almost 4 months of rest, I finally decided to go back today. I couldn't be any happier. I used the helmet Meyrick had shipped from the U.S. a couple of months back. He gave it to me a month after the accident. Maybe to remind me that I can always go back when I'm ready. Or maybe wala lang. I've been itching to use it since. I seriously brought a camera with me today and seriously asked my trainer to take 100 pictures of me riding. Funny. He was able to take 97 photos. 

I think I appreciate riding now more than ever. I used to just go there, take lessons and be frustrated and impatient of both the horse and myself. I would try to force the horse to canter with me but he never did and he never followed. On the few occasions that I am able to make him pick up more speed, I instantly freeze and do all sorts of stupid panic sounds and make him stop. I wasn't really ready. My trainer, as well as other veteran horseback riders would always tell me: The goal is not speed. It's not about the ride. It's about you and the horse. It's a relationship.
And they're right. It REALLY is NOT just about the ride. It's discipline and patience and love for your horse. It's knowing your horse and knowing yourself on the horse that makes good horsemanship. I know I've still got a lot of things to learn, but hey, you gotta give it to me that I learned a thing or 2 after falling hard on the ground.

Buddy cantered with me for the first time today, the day I came back from the fall. I didn't force him and it was not out of frustration. I was able to direct him to. And he cooperated with me. It felt good. It wasn't perfect, but it was wonderful. I'm happy. Really, really happy.